FUNNY, BUT I WON'T TRANSLATE ALL OF IT.

I really shouldn't go here, but it's the end of a long week. According to a Zeit interview with Frank Brandstaetter, the director of the Dortmunder Zoo, orangutans benefit from watching movies. Pornographic movies in particular. Seems that captive orangutans don't know that much about the birds and the bees; showing dirty movies helps teach them what to do and also gets them in the mood.

At the end of the interview, Die Zeit's Sabine Etzold asks the following question (which I give below, with the answer):

ZEIT: Koennten Pornos auch andere Tiere anregen, etwa Pandabaeren, die ja chronische Paarungsprobleme haben?

Brandstaetter: Nein, solche Tiere reagieren nicht auf Bilder. Nur Menschenaffen haben die gleiche Sichtweise wie Menschen. Die Augenstellung ist etwa gleich und die Qualitaet des Auges auch. Wir haben einmal einer alten Orang-Utan-Dame das Leben verschoent, die allein in ihrem Kaefig sein musste. Damit sie sich nicht so langweilte, haben wir ihr einen Fernseher vor die Anlage gestellt. Den hat sie sehr geliebt. Am liebsten hat sie MTV geguckt.

Zeit: Is it possible that pornographic films could also excite other animals, such as panda bears, which have chronic problems with mating?

Brandstaetter: No, such animals don't react to pictures. Only primates have the same kind of vision as humans. Primate eye position is pretty similar, and the quality of the eyes as well. Once we really improved the life of an elderly orangutan female, who had to be alone in her cage. In order to keep her from being bored, we put a television where she could see it. She loved that. Her favorite show was MTV.

Brandstaetter claims that its common knowledge among experts that porno films stimulate orangutans. He couldn't give a precise reference, however. There's a research project for you!