PAY ATTENTION, YOU BIG JERK!

Check out the North Korean News Agency website. Seven out of eight stories today have to do with the U.S. Today's stories show a kind of pathetic desire to gain the attention of the Bush administration. Here are five of the headlines:

U.S. hit for its ignorance of DPRK [HA, you big jerk!]
(. . .hit by an obscure news "analyst," that is. "For the U.S. keen to stifle the DPRK the greatest tragedy is that it knows too little about the DPRK. The U.S. should have a good understanding of its rival, stop spreading wild rumors and give up its policy of isolating and stifling the DPRK.")

KCNA refutes Powell's remarks on religious freedom [Am not! Am not!]

"As an expression of the U.S. hostile policy toward the DPRK his assertion is nothing but sophism intended to invent a pretext for impairing the image of its system and stifle and isolate it at any cost.
As stipulated in the DPRK's socialist constitution a citizen's religious freedom is fully guaranteed by law and even American religious leaders recognized it while witnessing the reality of the DPRK.
It is only the United States that made religion a plaything of politics and is suppressing true freedom of religious belief.
There are too many to cite as examples.
Before the liberation of Korea American missionaries made their way to Korea to engage themselves in espionage and plot-breeding and seek their own interests, while deceiving its people. During the Korean War the U.S. bombers indiscriminately destroyed even religious buildings."

U.S. urged to stop groundlessly accusing DPRK [Stop saying that!]

U.S. urged to respond to direct talks with DPRK [Call me?!]

Self-reliance, Korea's mode of struggle [I don't need you anyway, you big jerk!]

This hot and cold attention-getting strategy would be a hell of a lot funnier if North Korea didn't have nukes.